Talking Alone

Today I caught myself red-handed. I was of the impression that I wasn’t mental. Until upon this day I fumbled a moment rather momentous, I ran a few sentences by myself. I also happened to respond in a manner so friendly and interested in a conversation with myself, unintended. Sure, it sounds freaky so I look it up in the dictionary. Oh, strike that out, make it a search engine. It wasn’t up until now that I was aware I ever spoke from within. It’s a wonderful feeling but sadly maddening so I found exactly through what my mind was looking. Evaluation, approval, what’s the word for it? The green signal. Something to convince me of my being normal. A psychiatrist, psychologist, anyone from the audience, do you do the same thing? Is it recommended? It apparently is and it shocks me. How could it ever be recommended? To make oneself audible and allow yourself an audience? Audiences are fine, they sure are great, but what about when you suffocate? What about the silence we need to create?

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